Meeting my fears

So I did it, I attended a weightwatchers class; I wanted to wait for my second visit to blog about it as I didn't know if i'd return. It was petrifying. Honestly, I am still a bit scared of going but I'm sticking with it.

I signed up online for a monthly pass so that I had technically paid for four weeks so I hoped that would make me understand that I was investing in my health and I shouldn't waste my money. Well, I can tell you that I did not care about the money one bit when I stood at the front door to my meeting. I could have happily just turned around and pretended that I never signed up. Online was easy. I was contemplating just doing the whole weightwatchers online thing but I know myself and I know that I would not focus myself enough when I'm trying to change my life this much.

I think about three ladies went past me; all chatting and looking pretty happy. I just stood there, literally paralysed with fear because I didn't want to know the number on the scale. Which is ridiculous because I'd already weighed myself at home and posted a blog about it. There was just something about a person being able to see my body and associate a number with it that I didn't want; it seems more real; I didn't want to be judged with nowhere to run.

An elderly gentleman walked past me and held the door open and he had such a nice face that I couldn't stay outside any longer; he was too nice to leave hanging. So I followed him in and took his lead when he went to sign in at the register. I asked if I could sign up and that I had a print pass which was now quite creased for the way I'd being holding onto it for dear life. The meeting had just lost it's leader last week and they had a temp leader taking over which meant that the meeting was it a little bit of chaos but a lovely lady sat me down and explained everything to me and then it was time. I stepped onto the scale and I was 0.5lbs heavier than I thought but with the support of the group I knew I would be able to lose some weight.

There was one lady who had lost 1lb and she was over the moon; I was envious because I am normally so hard on myself for such a small loss but if there is one thing my meeting taught me; then it is that any step in the right direction, no matter how small, is still a step.

So I bought the magazine which was an amazing read and I came home and started to prep some meals which was fun. I am still using up food that I have in my cupboard and I used all my weekly points last week as some choices were not the greatest but when I attended my meeting on Tuesday I was thrilled to see a loss of 1.5lbs.

I am so pleased that I can tick off 2. Attend a weightwatchers meeting and cannot wait to start some more goals. Slow but steady is obviously worth it.

xx

THE BEFORE PHOTO

1/40 things done: 1. Take a before photo. I have taken the generic front and side view and I used an outfit that will hopefully showcase improvement in future photographs.

Welcome to my progress picture uniform!

How do I feel looking at this photograph?

To be honest I feel relieved, a huge weight has been lifted off me just by admitting it is time to change; I can look at myself and see a work in progress instead of a failure who just eats for comfort. I can see all the areas that need improvement physically. Every part of my body is untoned and this is what I would like to change but before I can do that, I must decrease my body fat!

I am actually so excited to work towards a healthier, happy version of myself and hopefully one day I will take a photo of my face with a huge smile!

Thanks for reading!

xx

40lbs and 40 things

I am in desperate need of motivation so with 40 pounds to lose, I am giving my self a list of 40 things I'd love to do, try, achieve and smile about! The list will hopefully give me something to focus on and also keep me blogging to let you all know how I deal with each challenge!

Okay, here goes:

1. Take a before photo

2. Attend a weightwatchers meeting 

3. Complete C25K 

4. Walk 20 miles in one week

5. Learn 25 healthy recipes

6. Complete 30 day squat challenge

7. Go ice skating

8. Brave the swimming pool

9. Read 5 fitness books

10. Go rock climbing

11. Practice yoga 

12. Attend an aqua aerobics class

13. Run from one town to another

14. Complete 30 day push up challenge 

15. Take a dance class

16. Run a 5K charity race

17. Skip for 5 minutes

18. Swim 32 lengths (approx half a mile)

19. Attend a Zumba class

20. Walk 40 miles in one week

21. Learn 15 weight movements (bicep curl etc)

22. Attend a roller disco

23. Write 100 blog posts

24. Participate in ultimate frisbee

25. Plank for 4 minutes

26. Sign up to a team sport (netball?)

27. Touch my toes 

28. Complete 30 day ab challenge

29. Go to another country for a fitness event

30. Swim 64 lengths (approx 1 mile)

31. Buy a polar watch

32. Complete the insanity programme

33. Climb a mountain

34. Practice hula hooping

35. Run a 10K charity race

36. Go skiing

37. Inspire one person

38. Buy a dress for graduation

39. Reach goal weight

40. Take an after photo

And that's my list complete!

Cannot wait to start completing them, feel really motivated just thinking about becoming fit enough to try some of these!

Wish me luck!

Xx

Beginnings; when is the right time?

How do you know it's the right time to change; how to do you know that this time you will change. I have been down the fitness path once before and I was 3lbs from my goal weight and something made me give it all up and gain 3 stone. I obviously was not ready for the change. Am I ready now? I hope so, I'm hoping I can use all the knowledge that I had from my previous journey to make sure that this time I create habits that become part of my entire life instead of just a nine month phase. 

My fitness level is the lowest it has ever been at this moment in time. I am 5'5 and weigh in at 186lbs; that is 40lbs away from my goal weight of 146lbs. I am going to assess my fitness level tomorrow and take measurements so I can see a non scale progress too. 

I am now a members of weightwatchers and begin my first class on Tuesday at 6:30pm and I am so excited to have a focus again in my life that is dedicated to weightloss.

Why is it the right time for me to start again? My body is telling me; my work clothes are struggling to fit, I struggle climbing stairs, walking seems tiresome and boring, I eat without thinking and don't seem to go longer than an hour without wanting a sugar fix, I'm drinking excessive amounts of coffee, my sleep pattern is horredous, a negative attitude to all aspects of my life has taken over. I haven't cooked a meal in such a long time, my bras are struggling with my weight gain, my chores seem less important. I honestly could sit in my pyjamas, with a scarf and a blanket and a duvet and hide there forever; if I had a constant supply of comfort food. I don't even have the energy to cry. I paint my nails in an attempt to feel better and for the 10 days that I cannot be bothered to remove it, the flaking paint is a constant remind of how little motivation I have.

I know it is the right time to start again because I enjoy feeling good and I want to do things.

I have 40 pounds to lose and I am going to create a list of 40 things I would like to do.

xx